
Why “Buy-In” is a trap
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Hey builders, before we jump into today's show, I need to know something. Are you and I connected on the socials? Because if we're not, we need to be. So connect with me. I'm on Facebook at Robyn Jackson. I am on Twitter at Robyn_Mindsteps. I'm on LinkedIn at Robyn Jackson. Let's connect and let's keep the conversation going.
Now on to the show. You're listening to the School Leadership Reimagine podcast episode 320. How do builders like us make a dramatic difference in the lives of our students in spite of all the obstacles we face? How do you keep your vision for your school from being held hostage by resistant teachers, uncooperative parents, ridiculous district policies, or lack of time, money, or resources? If you're facing those challenges right now, here is where you'll find the answers, strategies, and actionable tips you need to overcome any obstacle you face. You don't have to wait to make a difference in the lives of the people you serve. You can turn your school into a success story right now with the people and resources you already have. Let's get started.
Hey builders, welcome to another episode of the School Leadership Reimagined podcast.
I'm your host, Robyn Jackson, and I'm going to say something right now that's going to probably challenge everything that you've been taught about what it means to lead a school. You don't need buy in. I know I talk to principals all the time and they say, you know, the big thing I want is I just want my staff to buy in. And and we're wandering around like door to door salespeople, talking to our staff members and trying to help them buy in. But if people can buy in, they can also sell out. And so in today's episode, I want to talk to you about why you don't really need buy in, why you don't even want it, and what you want to go for instead. So let's dive in.
So think about what's happening or has happened in your building in the past, right? One day your staff is nodding at the faculty meeting, they're smiling in PD, they are enthusiastic about whatever program you're rolling out. And then the next day when they get back in their rooms, they're doing their own thing. And it's like we never even talked about it. And they don't they, they're doing things the way that they've always done them because what happened is they got hyped up because of your presentation or because of the moment in the room. But you didn't really change their minds. And the reason you didn't change your minds is because they weren't really aligned to what you were trying to do in the 1st place. They may have had an emotional reaction to it, they may have bought in at the moment, but the moment they get back into the classrooms, things change.
And that's because the idea of buy in is really a myth, right? You're when you are, when it, when people say they buy in at the moment, it's, it's an emotional reaction, but it isn't true commitment. We've been taught that the Holy Grail is staff buy in, that you just want to get your staff to buy in. And that's the most important thing. And a lot of the leadership strategies that were taught are really about buy in. But buy in is conditional. It depends on people's mood and, or their energy or the popularity of the idea at the moment or peer pressure or whatever they're feeling or, you know, how, whether their, their blood sugar is not, I mean, like it's, it's a, it's dependent upon the moment, right? But then people after they have time to think about it, after they have time to consider the cost, a lot of people choose to return the, the, the idea that you, that they originally bought, they, they take it back, they don't buy in, they sell it out later on.
I mean, think about it. Think about how at the beginning of every school year, you lay out the plan and everybody is bought in. And by October everybody's tired and fatigued and they, they're no longer bought in. They are sold out. They are just done. Or think about how, you know, you have a great faculty meeting and everybody's excited and energized. And then when you go in a classroom a week later to, you know, see the changes happening in the classroom, everybody's doing the same thing they were always doing.
Think about that back to school roll out and everybody's like, yeah, this is the year we're going to really do it.
And then, you know, the, the moment the first kid acts up, they're like, yeah, forget that program If this wasn't going to work anyway. Because buy in tends to be emotional, not structural, right? So although you've been taught to aim for buy in and you've even been told that if your staff doesn't believe in the work, they're probably not going to implement it. You, you, you've been sold a false bill of goods, right? Because you're so busy running around trying to get buy in, bending over backwards over explaining, over justifying, trying to get everybody excited, trying to keep everybody excited about an idea and, and trying to get everybody to buy in before you can even move forward. And you know, at the beginning it kind of works, right? People say the right things, they smile, they, they get all enthusiastic, enthusiastic. But enthusiasm is not execution, right?
People can get all bought in. But the real test comes when you are looking for a change in behavior. And that's when buy in begins to sell out, right? Because again, buy in is emotional, right? And anything that's emotional can shift. So you don't want buy in. You don't need buy in to get started. What you want and what you need is alignment.
Now let me tell you how alignment is different. When you have buy in, you know, it's everybody is enthusiastic and they agree and there's a positive attitude and there's visible compliance. People are smiling and nodding and yes, and I'm going to do it and making commitments, right? But what happens in order to get by and is that you spend a lot of time appeasing people. You're you're trying to make them happy so that they can stay bought in. You are constantly reselling the idea and justifying why you want people to do it. And the trap is that a lot of times you misinterpret their enthusiasm for true commitment. And so you run around and it's almost like you're a politician begging for votes or you are a door to door salesperson hoping that somebody will buy into your ideas.
And as a result, you spend a lot of time chasing buy in and you are stuck. You can't move forward until you get it. And then the real danger is this because buy in relies on you to persuade people and convince people and talk them into doing something. The danger that happens is that if they can be talked into doing something, they can also be talked out of it. And many cases they will talk themselves out of it. So if you ever had a situation where you talk to teachers and said this is the way to go and you did a really good job of convincing them. And then something happens. They they go to the meeting after your meeting or they get together in small groups or they try it and they hit a roadblock.
And all of a sudden they have talked to themselves out of it.
And they're like, yeah. I mean, I at the time I was really excited, but I didn't realize how hard it was going to be or at the time I was really excited. But then I thought about it and I start thinking about all the things that that could go wrong. And all of a sudden I'm not as excited anymore. Right. That's because buy in is fragile, and it's often based on personality, like how you know how charismatic you are. It's based on people's preferences.
It's based on whether or not something feels good in the moment. But the moment the work is hard, the moment that teachers get pushed back from parents, the moment it doesn't work with that one kid, all of a sudden the buy in is gone and they start selling out. And it's not malicious, you know, it's you know, I come from a neighborhood where being a sell out, it's like almost one of the worst things that you could be, right. But it's not about that kind of sell out, right? It's not malicious or it's not a betrayal. It's just that because buy in is fragile, if you are not constantly tending it, then people will easily sell out. It's they just stop executing. They, they default to what's comfortable.
They go back to what they were doing before. And so it's not, you know, like I said, betrayal. It's just that buy in. You have to keep fanning the flames of buy in in order to keep it going. And that's exhausting, y'all? I mean, think about last school year. Think about how often things fell apart the moment you stop holding them together. Do you really want another school year like that?
You know, think about how last year you you started out strong and then your energy faded and you blamed yourself. You said, oh, me and I, I dropped the ball. But the problem was you were the only one carrying the ball. So when you dropped the ball, everything fell apart versus if everybody was carrying it. If you let the ball slip for a little bit, those things keep moving because there are other people carrying it and it gives you a chance to get yourself together, pick the ball back up and keep going. How many times last year did you were you just exhausted because you were so busy sustaining everybody else's enthusiasm that you had no room, time or energy or space to feed your own enthusiasm? That's the trap of chasing by it. When you chase it, you are the only one that's doing the work.
And So what happens is you have this. It's almost like emotional whiplash, right? You, you, you, you roll something out and you have such hope that this is going to make a difference. And then everybody's enthusiastic at the beginning. I mean, you may have a one or two naysayers, but for the most part, people are really excited or, or supportive about it. And then you go to the team meeting and you're like, why aren't you talking about the thing that we said we're going to talk about? You go to the PLC and why aren't you using the protocol that you all were so excited about when I rolled it out? You sit down, you go visit a classroom.You're like, why aren't you doing the the thing that we all agreed that we were going to do to move kids forward? And after a while, you begin resenting your teachers.
You begin to to be frustrated.
And then you also start to wonder, is it, is it me like it? Am I not charismatic enough? Is it something I'm doing? Should I be pushing harder? And you're blaming yourself.
But it's not your fault. The the problem isn't you and the problem isn't your teachers. The problem is you are chasing buy in instead of alignment. You see, when you have true alignment, they don't have to like the plan. They just need to understand it. They need to understand how it fits in your bigger vision. And they need to be willing to execute it because they get it. They see the value of it even if they don't like it.
You know, with alignment, you don't have to wait for anybody's permission. It's not dependent upon everybody being happy before you get started. Alignment is built on clarity. We're clear about the vision, the mission, the core values. We all agree to that. And you can when you have true alignment. You don't have to micromanage every little piece to get by in. When you have true alignment, you can be stubborn on the vision.
This does not change. But you can be flexible on on the details, the execution of that vision. And when you have alignment, you don't have to force everybody to be in lockstep, cookie cutter everybody doing the same thing the same way all the time. As a long as we are all doing things that are in alignment to our vision, mission and core values, it's good. So instead of people, you, you figuring out the problem and then handing it to people or selling it to people and hoping that they quote UN quote buy in. You are getting everybody clear and committed to the bigger vision, mission and core values. And once you are in alignment, then it's not your job anymore to solve the problem. It's everybody's job.
Everybody is committed to solving the problem. Everybody is coming up with solutions, and when that happens, there's true ownership, not because they bought in, but because they built it. Think about that. Think about how you value something you bought versus something you built. If the thing that you bought breaks, what do you do? I mean, you may regret it a little bit, but you throw it away and you go buy another one. But if it's something that you built and it breaks, you're devastated, first of all, because it's valuable to you.
It represents something that you crafted.
But the other thing you do is that if it's something you built and it breaks, you don't just toss it out. You fix it because you built it. And that's true ownership. Hey builders, real quick, before we get on with the rest of the episode, I want to talk to you about the 100% Collective. If you are interested in becoming a builder and developing that 100% mindset, then The 100% Collective is for you. Not only do we have monthly master classes, live master classes where I show you how to take some work that you are already doing, but do it like a builder. Do it in a way that is more effective, more efficient in a way that takes makes the work and stops it from being drudgery and makes it actually something that feels meaningful, that moves you forward. We also have done for you tool boxes with all the tools you need to be able to implement.
And we have step by step playbooks that layout the entire process for you so you don't even think about it. You just take the playbook and you can implement it right away in your schools. And we have a supportive community. So this is a safe place where you can bring your challenges and there are other people, other builders just like you, who are encouraging you, who are applauding you when you win, and who are giving you their experiences as well so that you can learn from each other. If you are tired of just kind of going through and doing the work the way you've always been doing it, and you're ready to stop being a leader and to start building something amazing, the 100% Collective is where you need to be. Join us at buildershipuniversity.com/community now back with the program. You see, buy in doesn't create that lasting sense of ownership. It, it's a thing, it's, it's, you know, it's I'll let you know they broke.
I'll get another one on prime. It'll be here tomorrow. You don't have the same commitment to something you bought versus something you built. That's true ownership. I built this. And you can't get people involved in building if you are focused on buy in versus alignment. And you can't get people truly invested in the work if you have already built it and then you're handing it to them and hoping they'll buy it from you versus coming together and saying, here's what we need, let's build it together. And when you build it together, there's true ownership and people don't tear down what they helped build.
So true alignment means that you come together. The burden isn't all on you. Everybody is responsible for solving the problem. When you come up with a solution, everybody's responsible for implementing it and making it successful. You don't have to prove to somebody that it'll work before they start. People are invested in making it work. When you have true alignment and you build together, then people are supportive and protective of it because people don't tear down what they help to build. When you have true alignment instead of buy in, then people are a lot more proactive, right?
They're not waiting for you to come sell them something else.
They've built it, they are redesigning it, everything thinking it all the time, they're tweaking it. They're making it better because they built it. When when you have alignment instead of buy in, you don't have to waste time running around maintaining everybody's enthusiasm looking for the next team building activity to keep, you know, keep everybody bought in. The team building activity is building. The thing the bonding experience comes from solving problems together. The thing that helps us to gel as a team and work together as a team is because we have a shared vision, mission and core values and we're all committed to making that work for every single kid. Buy in traps you keeps you selling door to door.
It's fickle. It's based on emotions and, and, and people you know, whether or not they ate breakfast that morning or whether or not they like working with this person. It's based on all these things you can't control. Alignment is based on things you can control because when you have that commitment to the vision, the mission, core values and everybody's committed to that, then everybody is responsible. You're not running around chasing, checking and correcting people, policing people. Are they still bought in? Did they sell out? I don't know.
What you are doing instead is you are supporting people because they are committed. They hold themselves responsible. They are doing the right work the right way for the right reasons, because they're committed, because they are truly in alignment. And when you have true alignment, your staff, you don't have to lead. Your staff leads themselves. What you're doing is providing the the conditions and the processes in the systems to keep this thing moving, to keep the momentum up, to make sure that you are aligned with the right vision and you stay in alignment. Your job stops being about policing people and starts being about sustaining the alignment. And so that frees you up to do the work you really want to do.
That's nobody wants to be running around selling ideas to people. What you, what you want to do is to be involved in something meaningful, to be working towards a common goal, to see results. So if you are currently thinking about how I'm going to get them to buy in this year, I want you to stop. It's not about buy in. Buy in is a trap and we need to stop trying to get people to buy in. What I want for you this year is I want you to, to, to not be wearing yourself out trying to get by in, trying to appease people, trying to trying to make sure everybody's happy, trying to beg and plead with people to do the right thing. That's not why you came into this profession.
What I want for you instead is to build real alignment, because when you build real alignment, things feel different.
In the building, when you build real alignment, things start coming together. You're not pulling all by yourself. Everybody's pulling in the same direction with you. People are being proactive. People are focused on solving problems. People are focused on achieving your vision, mission, and core values instead of tearing you down. People are focused on building something lasting instead of tearing each other down. That's what happens when you have true alignment.
So that's one of the reasons why I talk about alignment a lot, and it's one of the reasons why every summer we do a boot camp and I keep wanting to change the topic, but every year when I come back to it, if you don't have alignment, nothing else I teach you really matters. So I need to teach you alignment first. So we've got something coming up. We're going to be doing something, another boot camp this summer and it's going to be absolutely free and it's on staff alignment. Doors aren't open yet, but they will be opening up soon. So here's what you need to do. First thing is if you are not signed up for the, the newsletter, the, the announcements for this podcast each week on e-mail, you need to go to school leadership reimagined.com & up. That way you get the, the, the registration notice so you not notice it.
So you know what, you know when it's time to sign up, the second thing you can do is you can go to buildershipuniversity.com and that's where we're going to be putting all the, you know, so you, if you're not getting the emails or you don't see it, you can always check. We're going to be putting the sign up sheet for the, the boot camp that's happening in a few weeks. The boot camp is going to be happening at the end of July probably. It's only too much already. Anyway. The sign up for the boot camps are going to open up next week. So you want to look out for that and then during the boot camp, I'm going to show you how to go from buy in to true alignment and and do that with the work you're kind of already doing. But how I'm going to show you how to think about that work differently.
I'm going to give you some systems that if you put them in place, could mean the difference between spending the year chasing and checking and correcting people and spending the year building something together, having a staff that's all working for the same goal, that's all rowing in the same direction. So just look out for that because here's the deal. If you continue to chase buy in, you're just, you're constantly selling and reselling ideas because like I said, if people can buy in, they can also sell out. What you want is for people to truly own the work. You want people to truly own this work to hold themselves accountable for success, regardless of whether you are looking. You want people doing the right work the right way for the right reasons, even when you're not checking. And I'm going to show you how to do that at the boot camp. So make sure that when the sign up happens, you sign up. It's absolutely free, 5 days and I'm probably saying too much, I should stop. OK, Let me just say this.
There is such a difference in the way your school feels when you have alignment versus vibe buy in.
And so I'm challenging you this week to stop chasing buy in. It's a trap. You don't need it. In fact, if you get buy in, it creates more problems. What you need is alignment. What you need is to get everybody on your building into true alignment because that's how you begin to move forward. That's how you create true ownership and accountability in your school. That's how you actually begin to move forward and achieving your vision together because you're seeking alignment versus buy in and you're building that alignment like a builder. I'll talk to you next time. Hey, if you're ready to get started being a builder right away, then I want to invite you to join us at Buildership University. It's our exclusive online community for builders just like you, where you'll be able to get the exact training that you need to turn your school into a success story right now with the people and resources you already have. Inside you'll find our best online courses, live trainings with me, tons of resources, templates and exemplars, and monthly live office hours with me where you can ask me anything and get my help on whatever challenge you're facing right now. If you're tired of hitting obstacle after obstacle and you're sick of tiny little incremental gains each year, if you're ready to make a dramatic difference in your school right now, then you need to join Buildership University.
Just go to buildershipuniversity.com and get started writing your school success story today. Hey, it's Robyn here and I want to thank you for listening to today's episode. Now, if you have a question about today's episode or you just want to keep the conversation going, did you know that we had a School Leadership Reimagined Facebook group? All you need to do is go to Facebook, join the school Leadership reimagined Facebook group. Now, they're going to be a couple of questions that we asked at the beginning because we want to protect this group and make sure that we don't have any trolls come in and that it really is for people who are principals, assistant principals, district administrators. So make sure you answer those questions or you won't get in. But then we can keep the conversation going. Plus, we do a lot of great bonus content.
I'm in there every single weekday. So if you have a question or comment about the episode, let's continue the conversation. Join us at the School Leadership Reimagined Facebook group and I'll talk to you next time.
Hey, if you're ready to get started being a builder right away, then I want to invite you to join us at builder ship University. It's our exclusive online community for builders just like you where you'll be able to get the exact training that you need to turn your school into a success story right now with the people and resources you already have. Inside. You'll find our best online courses, live trainings with me tons of resources, templates and exemplars and monthly live office hours with me where you can ask me anything and get my help on whatever challenge you're facing right now. If you're tired of hitting obstacle after obstacle and you're sick of tiny little incremental gains each year, if you're ready to make a dramatic difference in your school right now, then you need to Join builders ship University. Just go to build a ship university.com and get started writing your school success story today
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